Maria’s Celebrity Apprentice Blog #2
Each week Maria will blog about what it was like being on Celebrity Apprentice. Here is her 2nd blog about last night’s episode:
What’s up Stars, Studs and Celebrity Apprentice watchers,
Week 1 is behind us. Let’s go week 2! First, I would like to say, what in the world am I wearing?! It must have been 4am when I picked out that outfit– oh wait it was 4am! From now on after this show, all my clothes will be picked out after 9am or I will go naked. Sorry, but fashion is at stake here. It looks like I just kept adding and adding and adding and adding: necklace, earrings, funny head thing, vest….
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NBC.com: Maria’s Celebrity Apprentice Blog #2
Okay, so Mr. Trump gives us our task and I am so surprised that right off the bat the girls want either me or Sharon to be the project manager. Really? I think they just wanted to get rid of me so my wardrobe would go home. Ha-ha. Alrighty then. Sharon is sick so they go with me. Me? As the Project Manager? Week 2? Well, then we aren’t going to lose! Make-A-Wish, I hope you are happy that you will be receiving a check because we are going to win you money. I picked this charity for the kids and for all the inspiration that they bring to me. I am not going to let them down. What you didn’t see is that after Cyndi said I was going to be project manager, Mr. Trump asked me to come closer and he said to me that I better not let him down. (Talk about pressure.) I almost said, okay DAD. But, I bit my tongue. Mr. Trump probably wouldn’t want to think of me as someone young enough to be his daughter–just saying.
I instantly have a vision of what this Kodak moment should be. I want to show the champion in everyone. I even tried on the Women’s Championship Title myself because in my five years of being with the World Wrestling Entertainment I never got the championship. It is a very prestigious title. That is one thing I regretted after I was released from WWE; to be the Women’s Champ. :( I am here and even though I was released I am still thinking of using that ex-employer as a symbol of the heart and soul in everyone, the champion in everyone. In the work room it is controlled chaos, people are throwing out ideas from everywhere. I love this process. I have always been creative and a writer even when I was a little girl. So hearing how everyone else brainstorms is interesting to me. I know from the beginning we are going to win. We have to. It’s for the kids. Furthermore, all the ladies are not very happy about the loss last week. The ladies are now on a mission to earn the team name Ball-Busters!! Cover them boys because we are coming to get you! And we are wearing our pointed toe boots.
The Kodak peeps come. Cyndi comes out of the bathroom and for some reason she reminds me of my grandpa pulling his pants up and talking at the same time. Ugh. Stop it Cyndi, you are a pop icon. “Girls just want you dressed.” It was much more painful in person to get all the facts from Kodak than what you saw on TV. Cyndi asked so many questions, “How do you turn this thing on?” “How do you use this thing?”, “How do you turn this thing off?” How do you Shut Cyndi up? Anyone? Help? Please?
We journey over to the space. Once we get there I think to myself that it’s crazy how large and empty the space is. We have so much work to do. I start by explaining to the team the concept. During this I have two options. 1.) I have to ignore Cyndi through this entire process. 2.) I will have to take off my dirty sweaty sock and put it in her mouth to quiet her. I choose option 1 but option 2 was a very close second. The team is great!! Let me repeat, the team is GREAT. Maybe everyone was tired but they all just let me follow me dream big. We are really moving at a great pace. Now, let me take this moment to say, Summer Sanders, YOU ARE AN ANGEL FROM HEAVEN! I hope to be as patient as you when I have children. You are an inspiration to all women because you talk in a way that makes mountains move. Mountains meaning talking, singing, pink and green haired pop stars. Wow. I am impressed.
Summer kept this task going by just asking the right questions and being the “Cyndi Whisperer.” I had an entire list of things that I gave to Summer and Cyndi to get while they were out. I knew Summer would be getting the balloons, confetti for the floor, tape, string and a whole crazy list of stuff. Cyndi would just be gone. Thank heavens! Ha, ha. Holly is on computer duty, Selita the beautiful, is taking beautiful photos all over the city, and Sharon is coughing her head off! Oh no, man down, or in Sharon’s case Tough-Woman-Rock manager down!! Sharon has to go home and now we are down 2 people. I am a bit nervous that we won’t get the task done. I am on the phone getting championship belts and champions. The Make-A-Wish foundation sends some of the kids over to take pictures with the championship belts and to be on T.V. They will be able to see themselves on “Celebrity Apprentice!” The kids are the stars of this show this week. They are amazing and beautiful and so strong when faced with such a cruel life. I want to cry. I want to tell them that I am so sorry but then I remember what my old boss told me. “They don’t want to see tears, they want to see life. They want to see us as what we are,” an actress, a super model, a singer and they want that memory. They want that memory to remember later. That is what Make-A-Wish Foundation is about, giving children with life-threatening diseases their wishes. So even if they get too sick or their life gets taken away far too soon they have that memory and so does their family. Through all the pain, disease and treatments these children want something to smile about. No tears until I get home. Right now it is about them. It’s about these amazing kids. It’s about winning so I can give Make-A-Wish a check to grant more wishes. Thank you Make-A-Wish for being saints and doing God’s work, thank you kids, you truly are CHAMPIONS.
Men’s team: What is going on over there? Fighting and the confusion? Sinbad, you are losing your team. Bret is pouting in the corner; very cute pouting but pouting none-the-less. Curtis is irritated but because of his accent he still sounds sexy. I think Curtis has an unfair advantage because of his accent. You never know when he is being a jerk. Boo Curtis. Fire him, Mr. Trump and let team Tenacity use him as set decoration and a morale boaster. Sorry guys, you are going to lose.
Don Jr. comes to visit us while, of course, the printer is jammed. To distract Don Jr. I continue eating my phallic shaped Popsicle. Right now I am using my female wiles. It is for the kids and I would do anything to win, well almost anything. The meeting with Don Jr. goes very well. Cyndi is back. Summer has a few grey hairs. It must have been a tough journey. I feel bad but I know the team worked better while Cyndi was gone. Today I don’t care about what’s nice; I care what will help us win, what will get that check in my hand and what will grant wishes.
Day 1 is over. The team gets about an hour and a half of sleep and we are back at it. Dude, by the end of this show the bags under my eyes are going to look like new cheek bones. But, it is for the kids! Also, Cyndi shows up this morning looking like Cyndi Lauper and that makes my day! The last minutes of us setting up is something out of a movie: maybe “Speed,” “Gone in Sixty Seconds,” or “The Hangover.” There are beautiful pictures hanging on the walls. Selita did an amazing job. There are construction workers, kids, police and homeless people all with the Championship Titles on. “Kodak Moments, Share the Champion in you.” We get going and it is going smoothly for awhile but what was I thinking putting Sharon, the lady with the plague, on cupcake duty? Am I insane? Sorry, city of New York but you guys are tough. At least I hope you are. Oops. My friend and WWE Superstar, Mark Henry, shows up and everyone is so excited to see him. He is a good man. Thank you, Mark. You added so much to the experience.
Men’s Team. You Suck.
Back at our store the atmosphere is electrifying except for the fact that we keep losing electricity. We can’t get the pictures printed out quick enough and everyone is standing around in this dark store. I go into performer mode and so does Cyndi! No one cares about the lights when Cyndi is singing. That is what makes her a great performer! I am excited to say other than the power this was an amazing experience. Thank you WWE Universe fans and everyone else for making the trip out and being part of this Kodak moment. Thank you TEAM TENACITY you were tenacious today!!
Boardroom time and I knew we already won. Everyone had fun, Cyndi sang, Sharon felt better and we met kids from Make-A-Wish. Team Tenacity wins and all I can say is that now 5 wishes will be coming true. That is a very rewarding feeling. 5 kids who have a life threatening diseases will be able to have their wish come true. Thank you, ladies. You did something important.
To Donate go to
www.wish.org.Spanks and Kisses. Talk to you all soon,
Maria
